Embry & O

So last week Jenny and Aaron challenged us to work with a specific theme in mind.

For the last few weeks I've let my emotions dictate my journal entries,

and I was sick and tired of them going all dark and gloomy on me,

So having one subject in mind really helped me to stay focused on how I wanted my 

page to look rather than just feel.

We will find out Monday if any MAGIC happened!!!!

We were told we would most likely not have any embryos left for freezing

which was hard to swallow because that meant that all our hopes and dreams were

wrapped up in this one transfer. But luckily the other two smaller guys

(in the picture below)

survived to the freezing process!

I can't even begin to tell you what a relief that news was,

 but I'm still terribly anxious,

I just want this SO bad that I can't imagine 

finding the courage and positive spirit to keep trying. 

But of coarse I will have to...

We have the best neighbors in the whole wide world,

and earlier this week the gal told me how she dedicated her prays each

morning to my little Henry and Annalea.

I was so touched that she had latched onto the names

my husband and I have always wanted for our future children.

Henry came to us maybe two years ago,

but Annalea has been our chosen girl name for almost 9 years.

These two names may seem like just dreams,

but to me they are little souls just waiting to come into our lives. 

They are real to me, and I ache that they can't be with us

and that their coming into this world has been so difficult.

I hope we will not have to wait long,

Don't forget to check out Jenny and Aaron's weekly journaling class.

I've learned so much, and I've certainly gained a new passion

 that without their encouragement and amazing how-to's  

I may have never pursued on my own!

Live the Questions

I came across a quote today by Rainer Maria Rilke

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart 

and try to love the questions themselves, 

like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue.

 Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you 

because you would not be able to live them. 

And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. 

Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, 

live along some distant day into the answer.” 

Arn't they such comforting words?!

Tomorrow is the BIG day

and my emotions are EVERYWHERE.

I need to allow myself to experience all my emotions

but not get stuck on any one conclusion.

I believe there has to a happy ending for us

I just don't know when or how it will all work out. 

I'm not looking forward to the next 3 days stuck in bed

(yes my husband is insisting I stay put for 3 whole days)

but I am excited about the online drawing workshop

I signed up for that starts this Saturday, September 15th

I just can't wait to see what I can take away from Tascha.

Maybe I'll see some of you there? :) 

Thanks again for all your continual love, support, and prayers. 

Sulky Sue

Well it's Thursday afternoon and my poor tummy is and has been

grumpy for the last 3 days straight. 

The nurse thought I may have caught the flu bug

but I didn't feel like that was it,

and after todays ultrasound

I feel confident that my little body is just having growing pains.

In just one weeks time my body has changed so much

that not one pair of pants fit.

And on an even more ridiculous note, 

I purchased 10 new pretty bloomers last week 

and not even one pair fits! And of-coarse I threw out my tags and recite! 

It's not that I mind gaining weight, but come on - 1 week!

Of coarse if all this leads to a baby bump a few extra pounds now isn't 

going to make a bit of difference in the long run.

But when your hormones are raging 

feeling "fat" doesn't really bring out the best in you.

But the good news is I'm ahead of schedule for my 

"harvest" so if all my levels stay the same we will be 

in this weekend for retrieval, which means next weekend

I'll be a couch potato taking it easy and praying for a little miracle.

I'm SO glad I decided to make the time for Art Journaling

with Aaron and Jenny of Everyday is a Holiday.

I've truly found this little project to be extremely therapeutic! 

I had a few self pitying "Sulky Sue" days this week

but each time I grabbed my journal 

and let my emotions spill out onto the pages.

Jenny and Aaron will be catching up with this weeks class

this Sunday due to a power outage they experienced this week.

Can't wait to see what the emotions of that experience

 contributed to their own journals. 

If your a digi scrapper please give some love to these gals!

It's aways thrilling to see my digi elements and papers incorporated into 

scrapbook pages and crafters projects by the Kitschy Digitals Creative team. 

1. Karli Plant of Retro Plant /Qtea Party Digi Kit

2. Randi O'dell /Once Upon A Gypsy Digi Kit

3. Anna Bäckström of Allt Och Ingenting (Everything and Nothing)

/Circus Party Digi Kit

And here are some lovely hybrid projects that I just can't get enough of!

1. Marie Lottermoser of Stitch in Time 

2. & 3. Maybemej Sporrong of Maybemej Photography

Using papers and elements from my digi kit

Tie a Bow

Still trying to figure out what theme to run with this month -

feel free share if you have a fun idea you'd like to come to life.

Was thinking of maybe making another halloween kit,

as I had so much fun with my Sweet and Sinister Affair kit I released last month. 

Well I need to go find a comfy place to rest,

this belly ache of mine is not being friendly at the moment :(

So SO So glad (and anxious) to be approaching the finish line with all the IVF stuff! 

Acceptance

Today was hard,

Acceptance, is a hard state to reach,

and I'm sure I'm not alone when I say

that it can very much be a day to day endeavor 

of both the inner spirit and the physical body.

This winter my husband and I will have been

trying to conceive a child for 4 long years.

We've dealt with many emotional, and physical 

trials, and hopefully we are on the very last leg of our journey,

but I often wonder what our path to acceptance would be like

if for instance we were born of an early generation.

Today science plays such a big role in our lives,

and I am immensely grateful for its part in my own life -

from the anxiety medications that get me smoothly through each day,

to my operation earlier this year

that may have given me a fighting chance to motherhood.

Today was hard,

I can't express truly what it's like to hand over your hopes and dreams

to a handful of "nerdy" doctors. 

You are emotional on so many levels

and to top it off your on meds that make you weepy and 

uncontrollably sensitive. 

Each day I fight to find the strength to keep positive

and excited about the upcoming events.

Most importantly I try to find the courage to 

accept that "what will be, will be".

I've not been a spiritual person in my young adult years

but I'm certainly searching now for meaning and comfort

from someplace outside of myself.

I hope you will all continue to pray for us,

your words of encouragement these last few weeks have truly lifted my spirits.

Today I may feel scared and frustrated, but tomorrow can be better.

It's a day to day struggle as I said before,

but that's what is so beautiful about the human spirit

we strive for JOY among all things.

Wallowing can only last so long, for

 ACCETANCE 

alone is the key to happiness. 

So Speaking of baby joy, look what heaven just delivered to the word.

Her name is Emily and she was very eager indeed to meet her family 

surprising mom and dad by arriving 5 weeks early.

But she's perfect and I am so very thrilled for my dear friend.

It's always such a very special treat when I get to see one of my creations

being worn by such a sweet darling angel.

This was my very first Newborn cap, and I adore it.

If I get blessed with a baby bump and it's a girl 

I will be making these none stop without question. 

Link back to Everyday is A Holiday for this weeks Art Journal lesson 

and to visit the other lovely bloggers who are most certainly on journeys of their own. 

Circus Party time!

Today has been the longest of days,

I'm juggling projects these days like a crazy person.

Just two and a half short weeks until 

implantation day... I really hate that word 

"implantation" BLAH!!! 

I need to come up with something fun to call it like

Bun in The Oven Day or My Eggciting Day 

LOL am I pathetic or what?

Anywho, painting the house is still project numero uno

around here. I'm thankful to have a painting deadline

because otherwise I could easily drag this project on for months.

I HATE PAINTING!

& oh joy of joys tomorrow I start the stair walls.

We are talking high high high.

In the land of arts and crafts I've been busy too,

my little mind especially.

I had to start writing daily list just to keep focused and on task

but while I would like to ditch one project or idea for another some days

it's very important to me and my silly anxiety 

to not leave project incomplete. 

I find it very difficult to pick up an old project and finish 

it with the same enthusiasm that I started with

and that was SO true with my Circus Party kit.

This little kit was my very first ever kit, 

and believe it or not my very first go with Illustrator.

That being said, my files were a MESS,

I can't believe how much I've learned sense then

but still this kit had something special

and I knew it deserved a second go.

I added new friendly characters, among them you'll find

a jump roping lion and a peanut loving elephant.

The new kit includes 5 fun new papers and ready to print files

for making a circus themes flag banner for parties.

These are so great because they whip up so quickly!

I made mine in probably about a half hours time last night.

It will be great for the foster kiddo's

 birthdays and/or going home celebrations.

I also wanted to share with you some party invites 

I made using some of the elements from the kit.

(sorry the Ring Leader girl isn't included in the kit)

These were a bit labor intensive because of all the mounting

but they are supper adorable

and I can't hardly wait for an opportunity to come along 

to send them off to friends and family.

My Circus Party digi kit is available 

exclusively at Kitschy Digitals!

See you Thursday for another Art Journaling post