Wishful Thinking

For those of you who have followed my blog over the years,
you know that I have suffered from infertility. 
My blog has been a testament of my hopes and dreams
and over the years my coming to terms that maybe a baby 
just wasn't in the cards for us. 
Having children in our home through fostering has certainly
helped feel the void, but I've never given up hope.
We are still hoping - don't get too excited...
but I recently had a laparoscopic surgery to remove my endometriosis
which I have suffered with for the last 10 years.
Going into surgery my biggest fear was that they wouldn't find anything,
and that I was just weak and needed to buck up.
Well they actually found a lot!!!
What was suppose to be a quick recover took over a week,
with an estimated 3-6 month to a full recovery.
So where does that put us now?
Back in baby dreaming mode!!!
This is both exciting and tremendously scary for me. 
I'm terrified of re-entering that dark place that consumed me for over 2 years,
and that I fought so hard to dig my way out of. 
As an anxious person it's not easy to just 
"not think about it"
but I'm doing my best to concentrate on my recovery,
count my blessings that I may possibly be much healthier going forward,
and love on the kiddos who I'm blessed to have in my life now. 
So in the pursuit of wishful thinking
I am once again working on a baby nursery.
(Our nursery in our home in Portland)
Luckily this time around I'm not getting to entirely ahead of myself,
as this room is and will continue to be a room for our foster kiddos as well.
While the room across the hall is most defiantly for girls only,
I wanted this room to be gender neutral. 
I purchased an original vintage poster from the Disney classic
Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too
to serve as the inspiration for the room.
This week we had a custom log loft and twin bed installed in the room
- created by Unique Western Woodworks of Eagle, Idaho.

Aaron of Unique Western Woodworks also designed and built 
our king four poster canopy bed for our new master bedroom.
Of coarse Miller dog had to be the first one to test out the new bed. 
We were hoping he wouldn't be able to jump up this high -
but no such luck. 
At-least our new life in a king size been allows everyone (dogs included)
to stretch out and get a good nights rest. 

So the plan now is to start painting, 
I want most of the walls to be a warm light honey color
with a tone on tone mural on the back wall of trees
inspired by the wonderful illustration by artist 
Kailey Lang of Ontario Canada.
She has such a charming website
and her work is so breathtaking!
She certainly has a bright future ahead of her!!!
The wall behind the crib will be blue with while polka dots.
I want all the bedding in the room to be white, with red gingham 
dust ruffles and pillow shams.

I can't wait to see the room all come together,
but there is a lot of work ahead of me.
I tend to be wishy washy about my style,
so I hope that this little inspiration board will keep me on track.

1. White Polka Dot on Blue (back wall of crib)
2. Warm Honey colored wall color for majority of the room
3. Log beds
4. Red Gingham Curtains
(image source) - Scotts of Stow 
5. Walt Disney, Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too Poster
(image source) - Amazon.com
6. Red Gingham Pillows
(image source) - Lynne's This and That
7. Storage Inspiration
(image source) - Road Side Photographs 
8. Mural Inspiration
9. Spring Garden Serenity Crib
(image source) - KooKoo Bear

Top image is a magazine clipping from an unknown source
I believe it's a 1970s Sears ad. 

PLEASE Keep up in your thoughts and prayers
that we are blessed with our own bundle of joy


Anonymous said...

will do! a good friend of mine had the same issues with endometriosis and her son is now in third grade ;)

Sandy said...

I come to your blog often, and this post really touched me....take care of yourself and heal...:) I like what the woman said before me, from her lips to God's ears....:) Sandy

Karin said...

My thoughts are with you and please take your time to heal and recover from the surgery.

I have endometrioses too (having major surgery in a couple of weeks). It's a pain. And the bad thing is indeed that nobody can see it, so it's easy to tell yourself that you are making things up. But it's a serious illness and it can affect your tremendously.

I did hear good results coming from surgery like you had, so I am sending you lots of hope and positive thoughts!

Retro Plants said...

i pray for you always Chels!!! i love you. heavenly father is mindful of you and all the *wonderfulness* you exude and can/do offer children. my fingers are crossed for you!!! keep the hope alive. . . you never know where life will take you? you are such an inspiration for me. . . your so strong, beautiful and AMAZING!!! love you the world over girly!!! we need to catch up; like seriously CATCH UP! gnome and birdy UNITE! i am ready to tackle that again. . . :)

Retro Plants said...

p.s. i LOVE the vintage Winnie!!!! EEKKK!!!!!!!!!

Ellen Joy said...

May God bless both of our desires to have kids one day! my husband and i were trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years now..its sometimes frustrating as i went to my OB she said last month that i might have endometriosis, but last time i saw her she said it might not be that worse case---but you know no matter what, sister, WHEN WE PUT OUR TRUST IN THE LORD who first formed our inward parts..He knows the perfect time..i will include you in my prayers. hugs


tiffany of camp1899 said...

hey miss chelsea ann... good thoughts for you and your recent surgery & recovery & what that might mean for you two!! xo, tiffany

Danielle said...

I just found your blog & this post immediately engulfed me. We were once where you are, although it now feels like a lifetime ago... struggled for years upon years with infertility, the not knowing... feeling like always waiting for the next step, the next procedure. That feeling like I was kicked in the gut everytime I heard of someone else's good news & then feeling terrible for it because I wanted to be happy... these are feelings I will never forget. You will be in my thoughts that this is your time. (((HUGS)))