Today was hard,
Acceptance, is a hard state to reach,
and I'm sure I'm not alone when I say
that it can very much be a day to day endeavor 
of both the inner spirit and the physical body.
This winter my husband and I will have been
trying to conceive a child for 4 long years.
We've dealt with many emotional, and physical 
trials, and hopefully we are on the very last leg of our journey,
but I often wonder what our path to acceptance would be like
if for instance we were born of an early generation.
Today science plays such a big role in our lives,
and I am immensely grateful for its part in my own life -
from the anxiety medications that get me smoothly through each day,
to my operation earlier this year
that may have given me a fighting chance to motherhood.
Today was hard,
I can't express truly what it's like to hand over your hopes and dreams
to a handful of "nerdy" doctors. 
You are emotional on so many levels
and to top it off your on meds that make you weepy and 
uncontrollably sensitive. 
Each day I fight to find the strength to keep positive
and excited about the upcoming events.
Most importantly I try to find the courage to 
accept that "what will be, will be".
I've not been a spiritual person in my young adult years
but I'm certainly searching now for meaning and comfort
from someplace outside of myself.
I hope you will all continue to pray for us,
your words of encouragement these last few weeks have truly lifted my spirits.
Today I may feel scared and frustrated, but tomorrow can be better.
It's a day to day struggle as I said before,
but that's what is so beautiful about the human spirit
we strive for JOY among all things.
Wallowing can only last so long, for
alone is the key to happiness. 

So Speaking of baby joy, look what heaven just delivered to the word.
Her name is Emily and she was very eager indeed to meet her family 
surprising mom and dad by arriving 5 weeks early.
But she's perfect and I am so very thrilled for my dear friend.
It's always such a very special treat when I get to see one of my creations
being worn by such a sweet darling angel.
This was my very first Newborn cap, and I adore it.
If I get blessed with a baby bump and it's a girl 
I will be making these none stop without question. 

Link back to Everyday is A Holiday for this weeks Art Journal lesson 
and to visit the other lovely bloggers who are most certainly on journeys of their own. 


Cate said...

Chelsea, it's been so great to be able to read about your journey on your blog. It's nice to feel close over the long distances.

I'm always so impressed by your happy spirit throughout what you're going through, and I just know that in the end you will get what you desire. You're in my thoughts daily, and I'm so excited for you and your family as you progress.

Best of luck, and stay strong!

Jenny Holiday said...

Chelsea, We love to read your posts, especially introspective ones such as this. Me and Aaron have been through some big time heavy stuff together and the biggest biggest lesson we've learned is that LIFE is much more manageable if LIFE only consists of the span of time between your head rising from the pillow in the morning and coming to rest upon the pillow at night. It's all about handling the day at hand. Sure, there are bigger issues to consider and as responsible adults we have to make some plans for our futures...but your heart and soul belong to the day and those who share that day with you. Thanks so much for joining in with our Art Journaling each Thursday! We look forward to seeing your creativity every week. xo, Jenny & Aaron

Tori Beveridge said...

Beautiful meaningful art and sweet sweet baby.

Sandy Michelle said...

Sorry that you had such a tough week! I am praying for you!