Tick Tock

Dear friends,

I would like to thank you for your sweet kind words regarding my last post

unfortunately my mood as not much improved

I mean not to sound too negative

for part of me is quite happy

but there has been a little munchkin of sorts sitting at my ear

confusing me and asking me to question so much of myself

He blurts out such silly and yet such honest things

Do you ever feel this way?

Like you have this inner self telling you exactly what you do not want to hear

or perhaps what you should be telling yourself

but you've been too scared or embarrassed or ignorant

and so you have been covering up his little mouth

trying your best to stifle his helpless mutters?

Why do I ask... I know you have these feelings

we share them with each other so often

it always is such a release to send out my thoughts to you

It helps me sort out my feelings

I should like to share more about what has been bothering me later

but for now I should like to think on them a bit more

Patience

that is my word to myself this evening.

Let things go, enjoy the present

and don't be so hard on yourself

Well onto the lighter side of life...

I seem to be in a bit of a creative slump

not that I don't have ideas

oh no last week I was working on 5-6 different creative projects

but each one seems to fall short

one after another gets swept to the side

I need to learn to narrow my focus

say NO to one project or another

let opportunities pass me by if I have some doubt

I need to give myself a break

when was the last time you were bored?

I can't recall, I am always in an anxious mood...

good gracious! Did not I say I would talk of happy things?

One of my projects has been working on a new illustration set based on Peter Pan

For one reason or another I have struggled with this set of drawings

I sketch and re-sketch

then I color and throw away and start over again

but in away I think this is all good

I finally have a few sketches I am happy with

and the coloring is starting to come along

I have not given up! I am determined to finish it through

and sometimes that is just how things go

sometimes everything comes together so easily

and sometimes it is a battle the whole way through

the idea is to not let it eat at you

which now it sounds like I am giving myself advise concerning my current moods?

You know, the thing is...

it really is all about your attitude isn't it

It's about the way we precieve the world and ourselves

it's about working past frustrations and our own personal shortcomings

I have so many faults

and I can be so negative and anxious and feel so lost

so much more than I would like to even admit

but you know, it's okay

it's okay as long as we try our best everyday to live a better a life

to pick ourselves up, slap ourselves on the bottom

and say "you know what, today you were a royal pain in the bottom"

moods are moods

we (I) must work through them and see the lighter side of life

and enjoy every single moment

Life really is too short

I shall be a grump no more...

at-least for tonight

Thank you for letting me send these silly rants out into your worlds

as you can see, where I start and where I end up are such different places

I hope you too find blogging to be a safe a healing place amongst your dearest friends

Most recent scrapbook page

How happy I was that day... I shall think of that tonight!

I wish you all a happy week with NO mood swings

Hugs~ Chelsea Ann